Instant access isn't always a good thing. In fact, I'm beginning to think it rarely is. I don't believe I have an addictive personality, but some part of me craves constant entertainment. Since the advent of the smart phone, I have slowly but steadily lost the ability to enjoy sitting in silence, or listen to music for the sake of the music, or daydream while sitting in a waiting room at the doctor's office, or give my full concentration to a meal with a friend. My phone is always there, and on that phone lives Facebook. And Instagram. And my favorite news, weather and couponing apps. And Gmail. And Candy Crush. And. And. And. There is never a moment in time when I can't be immediately satisfied by tapping on that bright, inviting screen and delving into the latest articles on my News Feed or tackling that super tricky level on Bubble Witch Saga.
None of the things I've just listed are inherently "bad." It's wonderful to have a myriad of ways to connect with family and friends, and to enjoy little mental challenges like which candy to switch next. The problem lies in the fact that one small electronic device can so easily consume a significant portion of my day. I've noticed this acutely since I've become a mom. Even though I often struggle to balance work and childcare, I am somehow on Facebook more than ever before. I'm sure some of that has to do with the ridiculous number of photos I snap on my phone and immediately upload to my wall (sorry not sorry, first time mom here), but it's also become much too easy to peruse my News Feed while nursing, or rocking Baby Cakes to sleep, or sitting in a parked car passing time while he finishes an impromptu nap.
I love Facebook for the connection to family and friends it affords. How else would I keep up with how my friends' adorable children are growing, and what fun things my extended family living all over the country are up to? I hate Facebook for feeding my desire to compare my life to everyone else's - my body, my mind, my kid, my husband, my faith. As a wise woman once told me, "Comparison is the root of all inferiority." Thanks, Mom. You are so totally right.
And thus, the complicated relationship status Facebook and I share. I've decided that there are much more life-giving and productive things I can do with my precious time than fuel my insecurities or stuff my head with wholly unsatisfying pop culture news. I'm not saying Facebook is evil or you should purposefully drop your smart phone into the toilet bowl. I am saying that in this season of my own life, it's become an unhealthy addiction. And I challenge you to do some introspection and see if there's something in your life that's doing the same kind of life-sucking to you.
I'll check in once in a while. After all, that Durham Mommies Helpline and Triangle Mommies Swap Shop are pretty amazing Facebook groups. And I absolutely want to catch up with extended family once in a while. But Facebook and I are about to take an extended, quite possibly long-term, break. And I'm --- feeling determined.
Tori
P.S. I know family in particular will want to see photos of Brooks. I'll be posting those on this blog from now on. I made it several years ago - might as well use it!
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